Check out the video of John Cage's 4'33" over at the Unclutterer, then come back. No, really, I'll wait. I would sincerely like to say that I am as capable of laughing as any other human being on the planet, and that I'm more appreciative of new forms of music than your average bear. But this isn't funny. And it's not music. If you want four minutes and thirty-three seconds of silence, say so. And also? Don't invite an entire orchestra to come "play" it for you once you've custom-printed three-page scores for each member, containing only movement numbers and the word "tacet" (it is silent). You don't need a paintbrush if your favorite color is transparent, and you can do silence without calling up the philharmonic. Knowing as I do what magnificent sounds those instruments and their players are capable of, it very nearly causes me physical pain to see them assembled and abused in this way. Please have enough respect for the assembled talent and instrumentation to play some music. You know. They kind you can hear?